No doubt one of the most important business skills for anyone to develop is the ability to  accurately determine when or if a  transaction or relationship can be called win-win and yet, almost no one is certain about how  or when to make such a determination.

Many people will tell you that a win-win relationship or transaction is when the parties involved feel a sense of satisfaction.  Other people will point out that a win-win relationship or transaction is when both or all parties get what they want. Still other people will tell you that a win-win relationship occurs when people are willing to do business together again.  Where do you stand on this issue? How do you determine when or if a relationship or transaction is win-win?

If you are one of the many people who ascribes to either of the three positions detailed above one thing is certain; you’ve been had without even knowing it! In the first place if a win-win relationship could be determined on the basis of how the parties feel about an outcome, relationship or transaction then indeed feelings would have to be facts wouldn’t they?  The truth however is exactly the opposite feelings are not facts and thus while the way people feel is extremely important in a relationship or transaction their feelings often have nothing to do with determining whether or not the  relationship or transaction is in fact win-win.  The most obvious argument here is simply that feelings are qualitative while facts are quantitative.  If someone is willing to base their business decisions solely on the way they feel then one would probably do well to concentrate on controlling the other party’s feelings first and then work on the quantitative elements of the relationship or transaction (Leading ultimately to anything but a win-win outcome for the feeling party).

If getting what you want is a reliable way of determining whether or not a relationship or transaction is win-win what happens when both or all parties want the exact same things?  This was precisely the conundrum depicted in the film “A Beautiful Mind” as renowned mathematician John Nash determined that the father of modern economics Adam Smith was wrong and needed to be revised.  Ultimately John’s work lead to the drastic refinement of Game Theory and eventually the Nobel as he promoted theories for eliminating the negative impacts of competition among those seeking to craft agreement and find solutions for complex issues.  Nonetheless, the vast majority of people don’t know enough about Game Theory to use it or implement its principles in their daily personal or business interactions.  The fact is that whether or not getting what you want is a good measure of a win-win outcome depends almost entirely on what the goals for the parties actually are and more importantly how those goals or targets were set.

Finally, how about the people who believe that just because someone is willing to do business again indicates that previous interactions must have therefore been win-win is this group likely to fare any better than the feelings group?  In a word no this group is perhaps even more vulnerable than the feelings group because they are acting on what students of logic refer to as a straw man fallacy (Essentially when a person ignores another’s actual position and substitutes a distorted  or misrepresented position in its place). To conclude that a relationship or transaction is win-win just because people return to do business with you is foolhardy at best; maybe the reason they are returning to do business with you is that they did so well the first time and you felt so good about it that it seems only fair to them to return to take advantage of you again and again is this a possibility? Yes, it is a VERY real possibility.

At the end of the day however determining whether or not a relationship is win-win is best left to hindsight rather than foresight or immediate conjecture because the quality or status of a relationship or transaction is most accurately assessed as a matter of practical reflection made as one looks back at a relationship or transaction and compares it to the sum of all other negotiations or transactions. Then and only then can one determine whether or not a relationship or transaction is truly win-win.

In the meantime establishing and continually refining a specific framework of negotiation skill and avoiding the Three Fundamental Reasons Negotiators Fail remains the best offense and the best defense.

Derrick Chevalier, Sr. Executive Vice President of Harrison-Chevalier, Inc.
For information call: (818) 242-8005 or visit: www.h-c.com